The Pursuit Of Happiness

Have you ever had that week that just felt less than spectacular? Nothing big happened. And at the same time, there were no painstaking events that took place either. It was just a 'blah' week. I couldn't put my finger on what was bothering me exactly. Therefore everything began to bother me. Insomnia kicked in and I began nitpicking myself and my life. Needless to say, it was a long five days of unsettling feelings and emotions. Maybe Tom is coming back into town soon? I'm not sure, don't really keep up with that sort of thing. Kinda pointless, if you know what I mean..

Being left alone with my thoughts and insecurities can be quite intense. I'm my own worst enemy and I have proven this to be true time and time again. My life hasn't exactly panned out remotely close to how I imagined it to be. Last week, brought me back to some really dark places for reasons I still don't understand. I started resenting myself, my decisions, and the places life has brought me thus far.

How did I finally get out of this funk? I took myself outside, enjoyed the sunset, and wrote out every thought until I couldn't think anymore. But, I didn't focus on all the things wrong in my life. I wrote 17 pages of all the things I'm thankful for. Yeah, 17 pages. 17 amazing pages full of the big and small blessings in my life. Things that ranged from being able to say 'I am loved' to having really awesome hair. Because if you can't tell yourself why your life is freaking beautiful, who will?

Funny thing is the very next morning I received the greatest, most unexpected, and life changing news. More on that later! But, I'll say this time and time again...God's plan for us will always be far greater than we can ever imagine for ourselves. His perfect timing never ceases to amaze me.

It's so easy in this lifetime to focus on everything you don't have versus all that you're already blessed with. I'm totally guilty of doing that time and time again. But, with constant prayer and faith I am always redirected towards remembering how unbelievably blessed I am. Happiness isn't something you have to wait for, it's something you need to CHOOSE to be. Simple as that.

Yeah, I may pump Pharrell's "Happy" every morning before I head out the door. It starts my day off with a pretty stellar dance party in my room. Fasted cardio anyone? But, in all honesty it just makes me feel happy. Mission accomplished Pharrell, you little hottie you. Oh yeah, I'm sprung on Pharrell even with the hat.

Clap along, if you feel like happiness is the truth. Go ahead, imagine me dancing in my room with my PJ's on. I won't judge you, you won't judge me.