Okay, sorry for the dramatics. That title was even too morbid for me.
In a couple of days, yo girl is getting deeper into the belly that is living in your 30's. All I want to do is crawl into my bed and fall asleep after that perfect amount of wine. Despite all my anxiety and hesitation for the next chapter in my life, I decided it might be fun to try to encapsulate exactly where I am in life and the emotional baggage that's coming with it. My online therapist told me it would really make me feel better.
If there's anything I've gained from my reign as a thirty-one year old woman, it's that you truly never know where life will take you. In the span of one year - I managed to move back to Texas, head back to school, and revived the only romance I've had all year..........this blog. Oh yeah, and started filming little snippets of my life for YouTube. More on that later.
The most important thing I've learned from this past year (and really hope to focus on this year), is to be present in the now and learn to love where I am. And I mean that last part literally and figuratively. I am guilty for getting so caught up in the things I have to do so I could be who I'm supposed to be, I forget the things I want to do that I forget who I am. There was something so powerful about realizing this thought pattern, that it really helped me embrace who I am and live a life truly thankful for all that I've experienced. The problem is, I've never been present enough in life to genuinely enjoy any of it. I was so stuck in my mind, constantly looking at the past and living with anxiety for the future.
I want to make this year a life filled with gratitude for where I am, despite seemingly not having it all together. I've found that when you practice gratitude, you realize how beautiful life is right here and now. I am going to ignore the fact that my reproductive system might be on it's last leg and love the crap outta my nieces and nephews. I am going to love this chapter of singlehood and save the earth one shower not taken at a time. I am going to embrace this season of constant change and keep millions of people employed at whiskey distilleries around the world. Most importantly, I am going to detach myself from jealousy and comparisons and simply feel blessed with all that comes my way...good and bad.
So, there it is. Rachel on the brink of thirty-two. I'm back in the blogging world (despite efforts to walk away from it, I love writing!) and have made my debut in the YouTube world. Thank you to everyone for all the support and sweet words of encouragement. As I start this new avenue of self-deprecation and vulnerability at it's best, please be patient with me. I am definitely in my experimental phase of figuring out where I want to focus this channel and what exactly I want to bring to the YouTube community. Until then, enjoy watching me eat a ton of food. All I know is when you have a platform to reach others, DO GOOD. So, here's to doing good.
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