Another Year Closer to Death

Okay, sorry for the dramatics. That title was even too morbid for me.

In a couple of days, yo girl is getting deeper into the belly that is living in your 30's. All I want to do is crawl into my bed and fall asleep after that perfect amount of wine. Despite all my anxiety and hesitation for the next chapter in my life, I decided it might be fun to try to encapsulate exactly where I am in life and the emotional baggage that's coming with it. My online therapist told me it would really make me feel better.

If there's anything I've gained from my reign as a thirty-one year old woman, it's that you truly never know where life will take you. In the span of one year - I managed to move back to Texas, head back to school, and revived the only romance I've had all year..........this blog. Oh yeah, and started filming little snippets of my life for YouTube. More on that later.

The most important thing I've learned from this past year (and really hope to focus on this year), is to be present in the now and learn to love where I am. And I mean that last part literally and figuratively. I am guilty for getting so caught up in the things I have to do so I could be who I'm supposed to be, I forget the things I want to do that I forget who I am. There was something so powerful about realizing this thought pattern, that it really helped me embrace who I am and live a life truly thankful for all that I've experienced. The problem is, I've never been present enough in life to genuinely enjoy any of it. I was so stuck in my mind, constantly looking at the past and living with anxiety for the future.

I want to make this year a life filled with gratitude for where I am, despite seemingly not having it all together. I've found that when you practice gratitude, you realize how beautiful life is right here and now. I am going to ignore the fact that my reproductive system might be on it's last leg and love the crap outta my nieces and nephews. I am going to love this chapter of singlehood and save the earth one shower not taken at a time. I am going to embrace this season of constant change and keep millions of people employed at whiskey distilleries around the world. Most importantly, I am going to detach myself from jealousy and comparisons and simply feel blessed with all that comes my way...good and bad.

So, there it is. Rachel on the brink of thirty-two. I'm back in the blogging world (despite efforts to walk away from it, I love writing!) and have made my debut in the YouTube world. Thank you to everyone for all the support and sweet words of encouragement. As I start this new avenue of self-deprecation and vulnerability at it's best, please be patient with me. I am definitely in my experimental phase of figuring out where I want to focus this channel and what exactly I want to bring to the YouTube community. Until then, enjoy watching me eat a ton of food. All I know is when you have a platform to reach others, DO GOOD. So, here's to doing good.

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Happily Overwhelmed

I was looking back on my blog and reread one of my favorite posts. To refresh your memory, you can check it out here. I remember writing that post with all my walls down and the words poured out with nothing but honesty and hope.

I found it kinda funny that I ran into that post at this very moment in my life. Dating at this stage of life can be overwhelming sometimes. You're no longer dating to simply have fun and make the time go by. You're dating with intent and yeah I'll say it...commitment. My metabolism is only getting slower and my tiny human bearing years are just wasting away. The more dates and guys I meet the more I find myself compromising that list of everything I was looking for in my partner. Trust me, the dating pool is getting smaller and life jackets are nowhere to be found.

"Never lower your standards, always lengthen your patience. For in our 20's we learned that lust can't wait to get, but love can't wait to give. Oh, to love with such a giving heart."

I read my own words and my heart melted. I'm thankful to have this little outlet to pour my thoughts and dreams. Cause to be honest, I would have never remembered those powerful words for myself. The other day I heard someone say that they weren't after stealing a kiss, but was after stealing her heart.

That ladies is the difference between some guy and a man...a good man.

Okay, I'll give you a second to swoon or throw up.

To be honest, I definitely swooned. Then shortly wanted to throw up. What can I say? God's goodness can be ridiculously overwhelming sometimes. My faith has been reaffirmed that God is listening and provides above and beyond everything I could hope for. I've found myself not only lengthening my patience, but also raising my standards even higher. Cause what I've found out is a good man easily meets those standards and forces you to simply want more for yourself.

Wine With That Cheese

I've officially made it a little over 3 months into living and working at Disney and have yet to harm myself or other guests. And no, I was in no way involved with that guy losing his fingers on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. 

I've found myself adjusting to Florida life quite nicely. I've been able to venture outside my Disney bubble and visit all these cute spots Orlando had waiting for me! I've established friendships with some stellar people. Without Disney, I doubt we would ever had the opportunity to meet. For that, I'm grateful and this experience has been worthwhile for simply that. 

Speaking of forging relationships with awesome people. It seems that your favorite blogger has quite possibly stumbled upon someone kinda special. Insert blushing cheeks here. Well, as much blush as my sun kissed (AKA hella dark) skin can blush. Without divulging too much information and jumping the gun. Let's just say life here has been a tad bit sweeter lately. 

I'm seriously not trying to sound like a complete cheese ball. I just can't help but think how much the thought that things happen when you least expect it rings true with my situation lately. Meeting the unexpected at a very unexpected time. This year has been full of changes and surprises. I'm welcoming it all with open arms and a grateful heart.

Disney. Where dreams come true. Maybe?

Could all my dreams be coming true at the happiest place on earth? Stay tuned. I'm kinda eager to find out myself. Now excuse me as I vomit from all the cheesiness this sweet post brings.